Unlearning
The Hidden Key to Personal Growth
There’s a secret to transformation that few people talk about. It’s not about learning more, adding new skills, or stuffing your mind with knowledge. It’s about unlearning—shedding the beliefs, habits, and conditioning that no longer serve you.
Think of it like decluttering a house. Before you can invite in the new, you have to make space. You can’t redecorate if every room is crammed with old, dusty furniture that doesn’t fit your life anymore.
Why Unlearning Matters
We spend our early lives absorbing rules about how the world works. Some are useful (look both ways before crossing the street), but others are limiting (put everyone else’s needs before your own, success looks a certain way, you must always have a plan).
We don’t question these beliefs—we simply accept them as truth. Until one day, something doesn’t feel right. We feel stuck, frustrated, or exhausted by patterns that keep repeating. That’s our cue: it’s time to unlearn.
The Power of Shedding What No Longer Serves You
Richard Rudd, in The Gene Keys, speaks of unlearning as the process of releasing inherited patterns that keep us trapped in lower-frequency ways of being. True transformation isn’t about self-improvement—it’s about self-remembrance. Who were you before the world told you who to be?
LDS scripture speaks of unbelief: believing in things that are incorrect or untrue.
Similarly, Teal Swan describes unlearning as “removing the layers of social conditioning” that pull us away from our authentic selves. The more we deconstruct these false layers, the closer we get to our core truth.
How to Start the Unlearning Process
1. Identify What No Longer Feels True
The first step is noticing where you feel resistance in life. Ask yourself:
What belief do I hold that makes me feel small or restricted?
Where do I keep repeating the same frustrating pattern?
What "rules" about life no longer feel true for me?
2. Question the Source
Once you identify a limiting belief, ask:
Where did I learn this?
Who benefits from me believing this?
What if this belief isn’t actually true?
3. Replace With Something Expansive
Instead of just removing a belief, replace it with something more aligned:
Old belief: “I have to work hard to be worthy.”
New belief: “My worth is inherent—I don’t have to earn it.”
Journal Prompts for Unlearning
Complete the sentence: One belief I’m questioning right now is ________.
A pattern in my life that I’m ready to break is ________.
What is one truth about myself that I’ve always known deep down?
Who would I be if I let go of all expectations placed on me?
Hey. You Already Know Who You Are
Personal growth isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about coming home to yourself. When you unlearn everything that isn’t truly you, what remains is something beautifully authentic. You don’t have to find yourself. You just have to remember.