The Art of Letting Go
There’s a particular kind of magic in letting go. Not the neat, Hollywood-style ‘closure’ that we all secretly wish for, but the raw, messy, bittersweet act of loosening our grip on what no longer serves us. If change is the only constant, then letting go is the quiet, courageous ritual that allows us to move forward, even when we’re not entirely sure what comes next.
But let’s be honest—letting go doesn’t always feel easy. It’s not just about releasing a person, a place, or a version of ourselves; it’s about surrendering the illusion of control. And we humans love our illusions. We cling to them like a life raft, convincing ourselves that if we just try a little harder, hold on a little longer, we can keep things exactly as they are. But as Richard Rudd, creator of The Gene Keys, reminds us: “Life is change. The only thing we can control is how we respond to it.”
Why We Struggle to Let Go
The struggle to let go often comes down to fear—fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear that without the thing (or person, or identity) we’re holding onto, we will somehow be less whole. But here’s the truth: You were whole before, and you will be whole after. Letting go doesn’t diminish you; it expands you.
Sometimes, we keep something in our lives simply because we don’t know who we’d be without it. The job we’ve outgrown, the relationship that’s lost its spark, the belief that keeps us small—these things become familiar, even when they’re no longer nourishing us. Teal Swan speaks to this beautifully: “When you let go of what no longer serves you, you make space for what was meant to find you.”
The Freedom in Letting Go
The irony of letting go is that it isn’t about losing—it’s about gaining. When we release what is no longer aligned with us, we don’t end up empty. We end up open. We create space for new possibilities, unexpected joys, and uncharted adventures. And yes, sometimes letting go is painful, but as Jordan Peterson puts it: “If you’re not willing to be a fool, you can’t become a master.” Letting go requires us to step into the unknown, to trust that something better, truer, or simply different is waiting for us.
One of the more mystical and curious traits of energy is that it will fill a vacuum. Exercising skill at maintaining spaciousness, nothingness, in the void where the old has dissolved allows for new-found peace to settle and integrate.
If you read Where to Begin, you’ll remember that I talked about how moving to Chinchilla was an exercise in surrendering the old in favor of the unknown. Letting go of my old routines, my non-negotiable trips to the ocean, my attachments to what I thought I needed. And in doing so, I found something new—perhaps even something better.
Arriving at the place where I feel at peace with letting go has been soul shattering, heart breaking and life changing. So much grief. So much to feel. So many things that I seemed to lose. So much, too much, was required to be laid upon the alter of relinquished control as the exchange for peace.
After all, this is just another beginning hidden inside an ending.
So, what are you holding onto that’s holding you back? Maybe today is the day you loosen your grip, just a little, and see what happens.
practice:
The Release & Reframe Exercise
Letting go isn’t just a mental decision—it’s an embodied experience. Here’s a simple but powerful practice to help you release with intention:
Write It Out – Identify something (or someone) you are struggling to let go of. Write down what it has meant to you and why it’s hard to release.
Reframe the Story – Instead of focusing on loss, victimising or blaming, rewrite the story with an emphasis on what this experience has given you, how it has shaped you, and what new doors it may open.
Create a Ritual – Whether it’s burning the paper, tearing it up, or simply saying a few words of gratitude, perform a small symbolic action to mark the release.
Anchor Into the Present – Follow up by listing three things in your life right now that bring you joy, stability, or a sense of hope.
Integrate - Set up a reminder for yourself to catch any echoes of hanging on. This is simply done with intention. Anytime you catch yourself returning to the old story, shift into your new reframe and reclaim your inner peace.